Winters are a particularly difficult time for me. The lights are low, the weather is cold and getting my big body up and moving in the morning is difficult, I would much rather lay in my warm bed with my down comforter and hibernate much like a bear. There is one huge difference. The bear stops eating for 3 months. I dont. It seems the more I hibernate the more crap I want to eat and those tasty greens in my refrigerator look less and less appealing.
Hey its the truth folks. I find my cravings going toward pasta, beans, and hearty foods like rustic breads.
There have been late night stops at the scoop for some gourmet ice cream, or to the bakery for some fresh baked bread. I am not the most disciplined cat. I will not lie. This is about complete honesty and progress not perfection. The challenge for me is how so I satisfy those cravings without falling off the wagon... and fallen I have done! Food addiction is like any other addiction There are slips and falls along the way but one must not wallow in the mire, It is critical to acknowledge the moment, dust ones self off, say a prayer of self forgiveness and begin again. This walk of a food addict is often about grace.
If I were heroin addict I could make the choice to walk away from it and never look back. With food one must take the tiger out of the cage, feed it, brush it, clean up the shit left behind, water it, repair its cage, and get it back in that cage without loosing a limb or your life. Finding the balance daily is my choice.
So what is on today's agenda? I awoke this morning and had a 1/2 cup of oatmeal with a little honey, 7 almonds chopped and 1 tsp of dried sugar free cranberries. I need to find a protein to really get the day started. the cardinal rule of mornings is Protein! Preferably Protein First, but My day started a bit backwards. Now I am going to write out my meal plan for the day and go to the gym. I have alot of nice green veggies so I think a big salad with chopped veggies will happen today and I have some left over vegetable soup that has garbanzo beans in it. It will come together today.
I do have to admit that today is a tough day its 35 outside. I am cold to the bone, my head is wrapped in steel wool and just cant seem to get warm. I am listening to some new music by Erick Bakker He just announced that he reached 100% in his Pledge Music Campaign. Such an ambitious guy and the music is really good and smooth. Spring is only a few weeks off and the farm which ill share about in future blogs starts up again in may. I LOVE the farm and Farmer Eddie! Life will get better and I will make it through another day. One day at a time folks, one day at a time.
The finish of my day, I ate a bit too much dinner tonight, even if it was mostly vegetables, there was no need to eat that much. Marianne Williamson says "It has been said that love brings up everything unlike itself, and sometimes just when we feel we are moving toward a solution, the problem jumps up again and grabs us by the throat. That is natural. It is part of the process. Do not despair. In such a situation, Simply take a breath, acknowledge yourself for your efforts, and forgive yourself for the detour" (A course in Weight loss Pg 17) I choose to forgive myself and tomorrow is a new day.
I acknowledge the good that came from today: I made a commitment to clean out the kitchen cupboards, freezer and followed through. This afternoon I went to the gym and worked out for 1 hour and 20 minutes. Sue my personal trainer took it too easy on me today and I told her to get tougher on me. I finished my gym time by walking on the Wood way treadmill at "1.5" for 20 minutes. It was a good workout overall. I remember when I weighed too much and I could not get on the treadmills. Its not my favorite thing, but I put the mp3 player in my ears and listened to Adelles "Live at Royal Albert Hall Cd" and I pushed through it. One day at a time folks.
