"Overeating is an emotionally violent act, and scolding yourself for having done it is just inflicting further violence. At some point you'll act out those feelings, and it a pretty good bet you'll lean on your fallback position of overeating as your favorite way to express self-hate. Not only that, but the overeating would then also be a perfect way to comfort yourself while feeling all the guilt.." A course in weight loss-Marianne Williamson
As a food addict, there are things I choose to avoid as they can and do trigger binge eating, my mind is just not strong enough. I have made observations that work for me. I will never tell another person how to work their recovery. I will however share my experiences.
Today I want to talk about "White things" When I decided to change my life, I had to admit that I was addicted to fast carbs. In my case they act like a drug. If I am ever going to get a handle on my weight and my food addiction I must choose to be selective in my food consumption, choosing the items that will sustain life.
Marianne says" Your body itself is completely neutral. It causes nothing: it is completely an effect, not a cause. Neither poor diet nor lack of exercise are the cause of my excess weight. My mind is the cause, My body is the effect. The cause of my excess weight is in my mind. In my mind there is often the argument that food that sustains life can not possibly taste good, macaroni and cheese, ice cream, and bread slathered in melting butter is so very tasty. I use prayer to look at that moment on my lips, verses a long term life.
I have also come to realize that media and food manufacturers have seduced us and sent this insidious mind corrupting message that healthy food tastes bad. From the moment I was fed sugar water in the nursery after my birth I was hooked. It is my addictive brain that is triggered at its core by the flavor of fat, flour and sugar. These three ingredients are like crack cocaine to me. I can not blame my body or big bones. I can not blame others or even the media anymore. I have become consciously aware of the addiction and the solution. As difficult as it is, I make the choice to alter the mind and to convince my brain that structure, meditation, exercise, green vegetables, fruits, and organic sustainably grown foods can contribute to the transformation of my body and mind.
"Awareness is the first step in healing. Part of the benefit of pain is to get our attention, to help us make the connection between when we suffer and why, so we can make choices that are a lot more fun and healthful" ACIWL, Marianne Williamson
One day at a time....
I lifted weights for 1 hour, walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes, and kept my blood sugar at 130 all day. Today was a good day.
